Overwhelming Guilt
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Set post "A Few Good Talismen". Ingrid struggles with her overwhelming guilt and grief in the wake of Adam's death.


**I don't own Witches of East End and never will. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

Unable to think or even see straight, Ingrid headed home from the hospital on foot. She was soaked and sobbing by the time she showed up at the door. Ingrid kept fumbling with the keys because she was shaking so hard and ended up dropping them, but fortunately for her, Joanna opened the door. She immediately knew something was wrong when she saw her daughter. "What is it?"

Ingrid choked on a sob and fell into her mother's now open arms. "Adam's dead. It's my fault."

And it was then that Joanna understood. The spell had finally taken effect. "Oh, sweetheart. Come on inside and let's get you into dry clothes. You're going to get sick."

Ingrid allowed herself to bed led into her bedroom and sat down on her bed, not caring that she'd get it wet. Tears still continued to stream down her face and she struggled not to give into the guilt that was starting to overwhelm her. If she had just kept Adam at a distance, maybe this wouldn't have happened in the first time. She knew she would have lost somebody, but Adam was innocent. He didn't deserve to die because of her. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"You don't have to be sorry right now. Change into pajamas and then we'll talk." Joanna didn't think Ingrid was ready to talk, but she at least wanted to try to help her daughter. This wasn't the first time Ingrid had experienced this time of heartbreak, but it still hurt to see her grieving like this. While Ingrid was changing, Joanna stepped out and called Freya and Wendy. She had a feeling that the three of them would be able to get through to Ingrid and comfort her.

When Ingrid finally walked into the kitchen (she had spent some time alternating between crying and changing her clothes), Wendy and Freya were there. Freya immediately pulled her sister in for a hug. "I'm sorry." She felt guilty that she had pushed Ingrid into her relationship with Adam now, but it was far too late to go back.

"Aw, come here." Wendy joined in on the hug and after a few minutes of that, Joanna sighed and became a part of the group hug.

And when they pulled apart, that's when Ingrid remembered Barb and the baby. "Fuck, I forgot to go back inside the hospital. Barb was awake and I told the nurse I was going in to see her." Another thing for her to feel guilty about. She realized it was irrational, but she was so far past rational right now it really didn't matter anyway.

"It's okay. Just let me call the hospital and I'll explain the situation." Joanna listened as her daughter rattled off the hospital's number after checking her phone. She went into the other room so she wouldn't upset Ingrid some more just in case Barb's condition had changed. Fortunately, Barb was fine and once Joanna explained what happened, she understood and sent well-wishes.

Ingrid understood that Wendy and Freya were trying to make her feel better, but nothing they said could make this right. It was her own fault and always would be. She didn't even have a defense for the spell, even though she hadn't understood that her aunt would come back to life. These powers had ruined everything and she was hesitant to use them again. "Can you please just me alone? I'm tired and want to go to bed." She wasn't tired at all, but she needed to get away from her well-meaning family. They were already smothering her and driving her crazy.

"Whatever, you'll need, we'll give it to you. You're not alone in this," Wendy promised. She patted her niece on the shoulder and went to hunt for something to eat.

"We love you." Freya gave her an encouraging smile and then sat down to eat with their aunt.

"Don't shut us out. We're not going to let you do that." Joanna was going to make sure that Ingrid didn't drown in this. She was already deeply worried about what her daughter was going to do next and vowed to keep an eye on her.

"Okay, I won't." Ingrid let out a sob she tried to hide as she walked away. However, everyone heard it anyway. They had a feeling the next few weeks or months were going to be even harder than they had been since the shapeshifter showed up and the truth came out. When she got to her room, Ingrid slammed the door shut and fell onto the bed. She couldn't sleep – her mind was all over the place and she couldn't shut it off, no matter how hard she tried.

Ingrid felt like she was already drowning in her guilt. It was completely overwhelming and she wasn't sure how to deal with it. Her heart hurt and she felt like she was falling apart at the seams. She wondered if this had happened to her before before deciding that she didn't want to know. Going through this more than once is something she can't even imagine. How is she supposed to move on from Adam's death? Especially since it was her entirely her fault. He'd probably blame her if he could. She'd never be able to look at herself the same way again. A man was dead and all because of a spell she had performed without thinking of the consequences. She'd make sure to know them in the future, although she wasn't sure like she wanted to continue finding out more about her powers. Aside from Barb's pregnancy (and of course, even that had had some problems), nothing good had come from them yet.

Gradually, the guilt and grief gave way to a numb feeling. Ingrid welcomed it with open arms because at least she had stopped crying for the time being. She figured she'd probably be crying a lot more in the coming days. Eventually, Ingrid fell asleep as a result of her exhaustion. The headache from all the crying had only made things worse for her.

Ingrid lashed out at her family a lot in the days and months afterwards and also broke down quite a few times, but she eventually recovered and moved on. She'd never forgive herself for her role in Adam's death, however. It always stuck with her.


End file.
